Comments for My Truant Pen http://bflynn.wordpress.com Just another WordPress.com weblog Sat, 14 Nov 2009 01:03:31 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on Boys and gender issues by Cristal Lacy http://bflynn.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/boys-and-gender-issues/#comment-532 Cristal Lacy Sat, 14 Nov 2009 01:03:31 +0000 http://bflynn.wordpress.com/?p=844#comment-532 Brenda, First of all, I love reading your blogs. I love your writing and I wish I could write half as well as you do! I feel the same way about raising my boys. Although a lot of boys have fathers who are so afraid of what their sons may be labeled later on that they squelch their sons creativity in these early years. I have seen the differences in my sons. I asked my oldest last spring if he wanted a pink shirt and he was adamant about not having one; however, somehow he came home from his dad's with one this summer and wears it all the time now. (Maybe his dad has changed his view, I don't know.) On the other hand, my youngest has no problem carrying around a pink bunny basket as a purse, albeit in the house, but he has no issues with which toys are boys are girls. He knows the difference, but not afraid to ask for the "girl" ones if he thinks it's really cool. Sadly I admit that I have been of no real help to my boys as sometimes I will tease them about buying them pink dresses, but I really do it just to see how they react. Yes, I know, it's a horrible thing to do. In closing, I agree with all of you who have posted in the fact that whatever my boys choose to wear, play with, be....anything, I will support them. As long as they remember my speeches of treating people how they would like to be treated because it is no fun being picked on. I, too, was a tom boy growing up....complete with the spiked hair cut and playing GI Joes at recess. So if one of my boys comes to me and want to have a tea party or something, I will oblige, even though I don't have the faintest idea how those work! :) Sorry I took up so much space, but thank you for writing and thank you for allowing me to comment! Cristal Brenda,
First of all, I love reading your blogs. I love your writing and I wish I could write half as well as you do!
I feel the same way about raising my boys. Although a lot of boys have fathers who are so afraid of what their sons may be labeled later on that they squelch their sons creativity in these early years. I have seen the differences in my sons. I asked my oldest last spring if he wanted a pink shirt and he was adamant about not having one; however, somehow he came home from his dad’s with one this summer and wears it all the time now. (Maybe his dad has changed his view, I don’t know.) On the other hand, my youngest has no problem carrying around a pink bunny basket as a purse, albeit in the house, but he has no issues with which toys are boys are girls. He knows the difference, but not afraid to ask for the “girl” ones if he thinks it’s really cool.
Sadly I admit that I have been of no real help to my boys as sometimes I will tease them about buying them pink dresses, but I really do it just to see how they react. Yes, I know, it’s a horrible thing to do.
In closing, I agree with all of you who have posted in the fact that whatever my boys choose to wear, play with, be….anything, I will support them. As long as they remember my speeches of treating people how they would like to be treated because it is no fun being picked on. I, too, was a tom boy growing up….complete with the spiked hair cut and playing GI Joes at recess. So if one of my boys comes to me and want to have a tea party or something, I will oblige, even though I don’t have the faintest idea how those work! :)
Sorry I took up so much space, but thank you for writing and thank you for allowing me to comment!
Cristal

]]> Comment on Boys and gender issues by Nadyezhda http://bflynn.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/boys-and-gender-issues/#comment-529 Nadyezhda Fri, 13 Nov 2009 02:29:26 +0000 http://bflynn.wordpress.com/?p=844#comment-529 Dan has a baby doll; it cost $8.99 at Toys R Us and is one of the very inoffensive, life-like baby dolls in the corner where they stick the ones that aren't super flashy. ltlbird had a great post on gender issues for children the other day. Point being that raising boys is tougher in crossing the gender divide than the other way around. I'm not too worried; he'll grow up just fine and I'll love him, no matter what he plays with or how he dresses as long as he's a good person, and gender identity/expression doesn't have a monopoly on that. Dan has a baby doll; it cost $8.99 at Toys R Us and is one of the very inoffensive, life-like baby dolls in the corner where they stick the ones that aren’t super flashy. ltlbird had a great post on gender issues for children the other day. Point being that raising boys is tougher in crossing the gender divide than the other way around. I’m not too worried; he’ll grow up just fine and I’ll love him, no matter what he plays with or how he dresses as long as he’s a good person, and gender identity/expression doesn’t have a monopoly on that.

]]> Comment on Boys and gender issues by bflynn http://bflynn.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/boys-and-gender-issues/#comment-528 bflynn Thu, 12 Nov 2009 22:09:46 +0000 http://bflynn.wordpress.com/?p=844#comment-528 I don't think Adam is quite as navel-gazing about issues like this as I am. But I'll let him speak for himself if he gets to this comment. I can tell you that he'll love our sons however they choose to express themselves, and that he's not... protective of his son's masculinity. I don’t think Adam is quite as navel-gazing about issues like this as I am. But I’ll let him speak for himself if he gets to this comment. I can tell you that he’ll love our sons however they choose to express themselves, and that he’s not… protective of his son’s masculinity.

]]> Comment on Boys and gender issues by bflynn http://bflynn.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/boys-and-gender-issues/#comment-527 bflynn Thu, 12 Nov 2009 22:06:55 +0000 http://bflynn.wordpress.com/?p=844#comment-527 I don't think we do our sons any favors by telling them that half the world is beneath them. Then again, I married a guy who cooks, cleans, parents, and considers it all natural. I hope our sons watch the example he sets, and that his father helped set for him. I don’t think we do our sons any favors by telling them that half the world is beneath them. Then again, I married a guy who cooks, cleans, parents, and considers it all natural. I hope our sons watch the example he sets, and that his father helped set for him.

]]> Comment on Boys and gender issues by tolonda http://bflynn.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/boys-and-gender-issues/#comment-526 tolonda Thu, 12 Nov 2009 22:04:11 +0000 http://bflynn.wordpress.com/?p=844#comment-526 thank you for raising your sons this way. what does skarps think? thank you for raising your sons this way. what does skarps think?

]]> Comment on Boys and gender issues by Ann Marie http://bflynn.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/boys-and-gender-issues/#comment-525 Ann Marie Thu, 12 Nov 2009 21:51:57 +0000 http://bflynn.wordpress.com/?p=844#comment-525 There was a great essay in Mothering magazine about 5 years ago. The dinner guests were praising Hubby for doing the dishes without being asked, and Wife was thinking, when does it start? Why would we expect that you can dress boys in nothing but hunter green and give them trucks, and girls in pink and hairbrushing dolls, and then at some magical moment he'll volunteer at daycare and she'll be CEO? The way many people talk about feminism is that it's a loss for men instead of gain--now you can share, you can take dance classes, you can snuggle your babies. I was also a tomboy, and also agree that it's easier to be a ... oooh, what word here ... ambidexterous girl than boy. I think it might be harder for us, though, than for our kids--they might be reaping some benefit of all this! There was a great essay in Mothering magazine about 5 years ago. The dinner guests were praising Hubby for doing the dishes without being asked, and Wife was thinking, when does it start? Why would we expect that you can dress boys in nothing but hunter green and give them trucks, and girls in pink and hairbrushing dolls, and then at some magical moment he’ll volunteer at daycare and she’ll be CEO?

The way many people talk about feminism is that it’s a loss for men instead of gain–now you can share, you can take dance classes, you can snuggle your babies.

I was also a tomboy, and also agree that it’s easier to be a … oooh, what word here … ambidexterous girl than boy. I think it might be harder for us, though, than for our kids–they might be reaping some benefit of all this!

]]> Comment on Boys and gender issues by bflynn http://bflynn.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/boys-and-gender-issues/#comment-524 bflynn Thu, 12 Nov 2009 21:12:42 +0000 http://bflynn.wordpress.com/?p=844#comment-524 Parenting is really hard. We just have to do our best, love our kids hard, and teach them to treat other people with kindness. Parenting is really hard. We just have to do our best, love our kids hard, and teach them to treat other people with kindness.

]]> Comment on Boys and gender issues by Kerry http://bflynn.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/boys-and-gender-issues/#comment-523 Kerry Thu, 12 Nov 2009 21:11:11 +0000 http://bflynn.wordpress.com/?p=844#comment-523 My three-year-old son's favorite color is pink. I buy him pink shirts and he eats off pink plates and drinks out of pink cups. Recently he needed a new pair of shoes. I let him buy the white sneakers with pink trim and pink soles that he picked out. I find myself struggling with it. I don't want him to be teased. He's a very sensitive kid. But I also don't want to prejudice him against a COLOR. Or let him think that it's okay if someone teases him over a COLOR. So I try really hard to be calm about it when people ask, and swallow my own issues with being judged. I do not always succeed. In fact, I've found myself telling people before they even ask that it's his favorite color and I'm trying to let him make independent choices. It's not needed, nervous babble and I want to kick myself afterward. Parenting is hard. My three-year-old son’s favorite color is pink. I buy him pink shirts and he eats off pink plates and drinks out of pink cups. Recently he needed a new pair of shoes. I let him buy the white sneakers with pink trim and pink soles that he picked out.

I find myself struggling with it. I don’t want him to be teased. He’s a very sensitive kid. But I also don’t want to prejudice him against a COLOR. Or let him think that it’s okay if someone teases him over a COLOR. So I try really hard to be calm about it when people ask, and swallow my own issues with being judged. I do not always succeed. In fact, I’ve found myself telling people before they even ask that it’s his favorite color and I’m trying to let him make independent choices. It’s not needed, nervous babble and I want to kick myself afterward.

Parenting is hard.

]]> Comment on Boys and gender issues by bflynn http://bflynn.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/boys-and-gender-issues/#comment-522 bflynn Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:50:03 +0000 http://bflynn.wordpress.com/?p=844#comment-522 I admit my mental image of myself at that line was pretty much Elizabeth from Pirates of the Caribbean. Not that she bound her boobs. I have no idea where this comment is going.... Good point about the easier early than later bit. Part of the problem with raising boys, though, is making sure they're not going to be the ones perpetuating the problems for girls. I admit my mental image of myself at that line was pretty much Elizabeth from Pirates of the Caribbean. Not that she bound her boobs. I have no idea where this comment is going….

Good point about the easier early than later bit. Part of the problem with raising boys, though, is making sure they’re not going to be the ones perpetuating the problems for girls.

]]> Comment on Boys and gender issues by Amy http://bflynn.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/boys-and-gender-issues/#comment-521 Amy Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:45:48 +0000 http://bflynn.wordpress.com/?p=844#comment-521 I got stuck at the image of bound breasts.....but then I snapped out of it... It's much easier being a girl in the younger years. Girls can play with cap guns, but boys can't play with barbie's. It evens out though, because I think it's easier to be a guy in the later years. You get paid more money for the same work and you get to play with boobs. I'm going back into the closet now.... I got stuck at the image of bound breasts…..but then I snapped out of it…

It’s much easier being a girl in the younger years. Girls can play with cap guns, but boys can’t play with barbie’s. It evens out though, because I think it’s easier to be a guy in the later years. You get paid more money for the same work and you get to play with boobs.

I’m going back into the closet now….

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